Can You REALLY Have It All?
I love being so motivated and coming up with new ideas, and finding ways to use my talents on projects that I want to work on. However, I hate the feeling of being handed something you don’t want to do and feeling powerless about the results you must produce.
But at the same time, that intense motivation backfires on me. With solid ambition and wanting to do many things comes scheduling problems that make it impractical to work on everything at once. And as I’m feeling this time crunch, I’m also thinking about what I’m not doing with my time – hanging out with friends, seeing family and cultivating my love life.
Sometimes I wonder if women like me can have it all? Or must we sacrifice success to have a family? Is it possible to do both simultaneously? What this boils down to is, why are there so many successful, driven, single women? What is it that other women know that we don’t? How should we better use our time and resources? What’s the key to having success in every facet of your life?
Well, dear readers, this isn’t one of those posts where I have a clear-cut answer for you. I’m still finding my way with this one too. I get so frustrated sometimes with all of us saying the same things: “is chivalry dead? Where are all the good men? How did she get married and I didn’t? Why am I still single?”
What kills me is that people reply to these questions with empty platitudes that do nothing to shed light on the situation. For example, if I hear “it’s not your time/ you’re still young/ marriage isn’t the be-all, and end-all/ half of all marriages end in divorce (why doesn’t anyone point out that half of all marriages are successful?)/ just pray on it/ you have to prepare for a husband” – if I hear any of those again I may scream! (These people usually have a warm pair of thighs waiting for them at home, making this empty advice even more infuriating.)
This is one of those times where I’m asking for your advice and opinions because I’m not feeling it. It’s one thing to say “go out, you won’t meet anyone at home” when you have so much going on at the end of the week – working your day job, running your business so you can quit your day job, social activities/commitments, family relationships, maybe even children – when is all that are men finding supposed to happen?
Haughty by Nature says: I think women CAN have it all if they believe it and don’t apologize for their choices. My mom chose to work when my brother and I were little (she could have afforded to stay home) and never apologized for her balancing act. In the end, she knew it made her a much better wife and mother to have something that was “hers,” and she enjoyed her career. The real question we should be asking is: Why are men never anxious about “having it all”?
Queen says: I am learning that circumstances are only a reflection of what is going on inside and that circumstances do not matter; the only state of being does. Believing is seeing. And I am in the process of becoming a vibrational match to my desires. I am learning to be in love with myself and connected to who I am. So when I do meet Mr. Right, my happiness will never depend on him but only on myself, and from that foundation, I know I will experience a fantastic relationship.
Shannon says: I think you can have bits and pieces of “it all” and mix it up to make a successful life. When I met Tez, it was work. We talked a lot. I didn’t get a lot done. But I decided it was essential to date after my divorce lest I get scared. So for a week in July, I decided to seek less freelance work and spend more time dating. Two years later, I have “snuggle time” scheduled in my calendar. I freelance, I write, I parent, I love. I don’t think I have “it all,” but I have what I want. We all can.